‘She took that as a challenge’: Woman proves ex-husband wrong and gets her chemical engineering degree after he tells her to look for ‘easier’ work as a nurse

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Feb 20, 2025 8:00 PM EST

The world always has something to say about what women should do, what they're capable of, and issues with how they go about getting things done. Why can't folks just leave us alone and let us do our thing?! Smart, independent women shouldn't need to prove themselves to be taken seriously in their personal lives and in their careers, but if someone wants a bite of the female rage… they can have it.

In this next piece, a husband tells the story of how his wife proved her ex-husband and his family wrong after some pretty outdated assumptions regarding her capacity to learn and excel. Even though she was aware of her intelligence, she took their lack of faith as a sign to work hard toward a STEM degree, which is a male-dominated sector of higher education. Naturally, she completed her degree on the Dean's List, dumped her ex-husband, and outsmarted her former father-in-law. If this isn't girl power, I don't know what is.

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  • Now, the woman had been sort of placed in a marriage with her boyfriend at the time, and it's clear both she and her boyfriend's parents held outdated values on gender and gender roles within romantic relationships. Luckily, this woman had the brains to see the red flags in her at-the-time husband and FIL's speech. She did what she had to do in order to get her degree while facing gender adversity. What's worse, is that her husband at the time thought nursing was an easy job. Who's going to tell him?

  • "The former FIL understood the irony but could not understand how a woman could beat out 120 men to be Dean's List in an engineering program."
    via ThisisEngineering for Unsplash

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Wife was told she should enter nursing school instead of engineering...nah."

    I met my wife in high school. Although we never really hit it off, at that time,... we were in the same groups. After high school, she was "voluntold" by her boomer parents, to marry a boyfriend and move out of the house. It was not me.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • She was working as a Nurse's assistant and her boyfriend (now husband) was going to the college of engineering. She wanted to go to school, but was not sure about the direction.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • Being smart, she wanted to challenge herself, so she started looking at law school. She went to college during the day and worked at night to help support the husband who just went to school.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • They finally had some free time, and were invited to join his parents for a dinner. During the dinner, the FIL, started a ramble about how hard the engineering school was (he was a Professional Engineer) and that law school might be as tough.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • He insisted that she look into going to nursing school, since "you already work like a nurse". The son, her husband agreed and said it might be easier for her.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • She took that as a challenge and immediately enrolled into the Chemical Engineering department, the only female among 120 students in the program. It was tough, she was harassed and had to always take the higher ground in defending her work.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • Cheezburger Image 10470017280
    via Ahmet Kurt For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 4 years later, she graduated with honors and a ChemEng degree. Her husband had taken some time off from the program, got caught up in an affair and she dumped his sorry a
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • Many years later, she went to court, as a SME (Subject Matter Expert) for a landfill management company, testifying as an SME against her former FIL who was an SME as THE landfill
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • designer/PE stamp, that designed the landfill. I am not 100% sure of details except, she testified in court, against her former FIL's designs and they spoke afterwards.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • She had not spoken to that family since the divorce. In casual conversation, outside the courtroom, her former FIL was grateful she did not attack him personally, but she did support the design flaws, and he acknowledged the flaws.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • In conversation, her ex husband came up and his new career. He had dropped out of engineering school, married the girl from the affair... and was working as a nurse in old folks home. (no shame, highly valued position!)
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • The former FIL understood the irony but could not understand how a woman could beat out 120 men to be Dean's List in an engineering program. Hope this brightens your day.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • Edit: splelling and context. Thanks for understanding. Tl;dr 2: current wife was shamed by former husband and FIL into getting a nursing degree, "men should be engineers", so she enters ENG school and graduates with a ChemEng degree, divorces husband, he gets a nursing degree. She is my hero.
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • Wardenvalley F Iyeah give this lady an award
    via Wardenvalley
  • PeaceLoveSm... Oh, she has won many awards and is regarded as a national SME on compliance and regulatory standards. *Subject Matter Expert
    via PeaceLoveSmithWesson
  • WifeofBath1984 What kind of moron thinks nursing school is easy????
    via WifeofBath1984
  • Impossible_Disk... I see why you fell in love with your wife. She's bada and must be insanely smart.
    via Impossible_Disk_43
  • Piddy3825 petty revenge is best served by succeeding brilliantly while the distractors fail marvelously
    via Piddy3825
  • Ok_Perception1131 When I excitedly informed my family and friends I (a female) got accepted into medical school, they all looked disappointed and said "But don't you want to have children?"
    via Ok_Perception1131

Tags

relationship woman girl power Female Empowerment stem engineering reddit story relationships feminism female reddit thread ex husband Reddit men vs women women engineer
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